


there wasn’t the time.

by cassandor



Category: Rogue One: A Star Wars Story (2016)
Genre: Canon Compliant, Drabble, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-04
Updated: 2017-06-04
Packaged: 2018-11-09 00:41:53
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 346
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11093328
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cassandor/pseuds/cassandor





	there wasn’t the time.

Time was the tragedy of Cassian’s life. 

He never had the time to have a normal childhood. (but what was normal life under the Empire, anyways? He’d have to ask Bodhi.)

He never had time to… be himself. Whoever that was. (One mission after the next, one identity after another. Mon Mothma, and some others, told him he needed a break. He never needed one. Breaks gave him time to think, to reflect. He didn’t want that.) 

He never had time for relationships. (He kept to himself. No friends, really. No romantic endeavors, either. Had to charm his way out on a few missions, but nothing substantial. Kay was his only friend. And… he _had_  programmed him. So did he really count? Cassian hoped he did. Kay thought so too.)

Time was something Cassian had to learn to live without. (When you’re on a mission and you have mere seconds to gauge a person’s personality, history, temperament - will they dig a vibroblade into your stomach, are they lying or merely hiding the truth, are they stalling or are they just nervous - seconds matter. When you’re bleeding to death and Kay is nowhere to be seen - seconds matter. When the enemy is firing at you and a girl you don’t really trust is watching your back and you need to think on your feet- seconds matter.)

He never lamented the lack of time. (He’d read Jyn’s file over a few times. Gotten a good grasp on her personality very quickly. Then she’d surprised him. Again and again. But he didn’t blame that on a lack of time spent studying reports. He wasn’t even lamenting a lack of time when they barely made it off Jedha. Off Eadu. Not when they were climbing up the data tower.)

(No, Cassian had never lamented a lack of time until Jyn smiled at him after the plans were sent. _What a smile,_ he thought. If only he had more time, maybe he would have seen many more. But holding her in his arms, at the end, was enough. For this lifetime.) 


End file.
